Am I ugly yet?

Yes, yes, I'm aware.

I've got the hair of an angel,
the eyes of a fairy,
the height of an elf.

I'm told that I'm beautiful all the time.
I see it when they look me in the eye
they don't even need to say it.

I don't care.

What's the point of all this beauty if I still feel ugly on the inside?
To confuse me?
The prettier you are, the sadder you get.

So, I thought I'd fix that.

Here's a list of things that make me not beautiful, on the inside:

• I've not maintained any sort of intimate relationship for more than a few months with the exception of a number of people I can count on one hand.
• I've struggled my entire life with simple tasks like brushing my teeth twice a day.
• I can barely manage to keep a job for more than a year.
• Whenever a pretty girl flirts on me, I exit the conversation ASAP, with what I could only describe as a the most obvious faux politeness in the world.
• I have a hazy understanding on the nature of human relationships.
• I constantly delve inward, hoping to find some sort of magic key to unlock the car that is my life that is falling apart as we speak.
• I also happen to have a car that's falling apart.
• I like reading psychology because I need to find out what's wrong with me & how to fix it.
• I've always struggled to make friends, I have severe internal emotional sensitivity & will perceive rejection at every turn, because that is the only color by which I see things clearly.
• My father died before I had a chance to become friends with him.
• The person who gave birth to me is still convinced that she could be my friend in the same breath that she'll tell me that having a place to drink tea is a "false idol" & that it needs to go.
• I'm sometimes surprised that I'm not suicidal.
• I probably won't regret publishing this. (lie)

Can you stop flirting on me already?
Am I ugly yet?